I won't be following
by Hgirl
Summary: A conversation turns into a desperate move. HY. COMPLETE


Title: I won't be following

Author: Hgirl

Pairing: H/Y

Disclaimer: Characters do not belong to me. Song title: "Following" by Chungking. All mistakes in the lyrics are mine (wrote them as I was listening to the song)

The note is actually lyrics from the song: No infringement intended.

Summary: A conversation turns into a desperate move.

**Warning: Character death.**

_Well you don't wanna start_

_And I don't wanna cry_

_I'm not getting tired of you_

Sitting across from one another in a busy coffee shop, they both hesitated to speak. The silence, in this case, somewhat reassuring. Nursing her coffee cup, she glanced at the people inside. Some ordering or sitting at a table reading, others talking. She brushed a few curly locks out of her face, taking the opportunity to subtly glance in his direction. His gaze was far away as he stared out the Café's window. He felt her eyes on him and turned his head, lifting his eyes to meet hers. Eyes held. They each responded with their own sad, upsetting smile. Their eyes could stare on eternally. No awkwardness; just wordless understanding.

_Well are you getting over_

_While I'm getting by_

_Leaving all the times I thought of..._

_What we had_

_Of course it makes me sad_

_That is what I say to myself_

_I won't be following_

_You were just borrowing_

_Me_

Was it all over? Had she destroyed any possibility of a relationship with him by dating Rick? She feared Horatio being over her while she did what any woman would do out of pure hopelessness, pushing the man she loved into action by living out her dream, she wished their dream, with another man. She could flirt and be in love with Horatio for years and years without abandoning her silent love for him. Their relationship could last forever because of the limit... Yelina's deceased husband: Horatio's brother.

When she looked deep inside herself, she felt used. Hadn't they gone out before she met Ray? Hadn't they made love under the stars? Hadn't they made plans for a future together? But, mistaking the love he had for her with his need for affection after a difficult divorce, Horatio stepped back, leaving his brother the unintended opening to making her happy and, fooled, she accepted. She had believed Horatio's excuse to hold back from commitment and had been embraced by his brother's love.

_Just one more cup of coffee_

_Before you have to leave_

_This room's not getting tired of you_

She knew how he felt now. God, she loved him and had to struggle with the fact that they couldn't be. She loved him for who he was and not for what he should be.

"I should be getting back-"his rich voice shook her to her core, forcing her out her musings.

She knew he had to go. There was nothing else to say... nothing could change the past and nothing could change the future. Their fate already mapped out before they had time to object.

_I'm hungry for familiar_

_Look forward to my bath_

_Underwater time machine_

Listening to sad music, depressing music as she called it, Yelina looked up at the stars, remembering their night together.

It seemed like a lifetime ago.

She wished he were here with her. To love her, to make love to her all over again, to stop her from what she was about to do.

But, he wasn't. And she was done with the shark approach as a way of dealing with a problem.

The sound of water pouring echoed in her empty home as she ran herself a bath. It was a selfish, coward thing to do, however she was determined to go through with it. Before removing her bathrobe, she carefully placed the note next to the porcelain sink.

_The way you'll be..._

_I hope you think of me_

_Even though you say to yourself..._

_I won't be following..._

_I won't be following..._

_I won't be following..._

Yooou-ouu... 

_Yooou-ouu..._

_Yooou-ouu..._

_Yooou-ouu_

No more sorrow.

She sunk into the water...

The suffocating pain to her heart disappeared, but it took her all her might to stay under, willingly taking her life. She expelled air bubbles in an outflow, one hand pressed hard against the wall on her left, the other gripping the shower curtain.

_I won't be following... yooou-ouu._

Thrashing, resisting the need for air, she inhaled water. Her system fighting back; body going in shock, she felt her system slowly fail. Water gushed into her throat, infiltrating her lungs as she struggled for air. Her skin, at one point, turned freezing cold and she felt an immense weight plummet from her throat to her stomach. Vertigo was the last thing she felt as she drifted into the overpowering darkness.

What we had... of course it makes me sad

_I won't be follow-inggg_

_I won't be follow-inggg_

You-ouu. 

Her arm hung loosely over the edge of the bath, water dripping down, trickling from the tips of her fingers onto to the floor. The bath water was perfectly still; you'd never think such a battle had taken place moments ago, although the curtain was half ripped from its supporting rings. When the compact disc finally stopped, the only sounds heard were the slow constant splotches of drops leaking from the faucet.

Horatio stood voiceless before the lowering of the casket. A quiet tear slid down his cheek from under his dark shades. He pulled out the note she had left for him from his inner suit pocket and read it for the millionth time...

We could be wrong... maybe we belong.

Yelina 

END


End file.
